cleaning machine!

today was pajama day at summer day camp. i did not wear pajamas....not because i am a party pooper...but i had to do laundry after work. but it gave us a chance to get the rooms cleaned up and i organized the summer day camp cabinet. it was a DISASTER! it looks good now though... :) i threw a way so much junk... blech. i hate clutter.


so after work, i went to do laundry. the man who owns the laundromat was so talkative today. he was talking about when he lived in london. i found out his name is kofi (like kofi annan...that is what he said to me...) and he was named kofi because he was born on a friday. also, he is from ghana and has lived in the states since he was 25 and he is now almost 60. he is just the nicest man and talked and talked. he told me that top loader washers are becoming obsolete, so he is going to get rid of 8 of his 10 top loaders and get 2 more big washers and get 2 big commercial dryers.. and he said that washer 6 (the one i use) is one that gives a little extra wash time...

then this lady came in with a TON of laundry...and she was talking about how her washer was broken. she never comes to the laundromat so she put all of her stuff in the 3 big washers and puts her money in (the whole time just talking to me...which i don't mind) and turns them on and forgets to put her soap in...so i put the soap in for her. she was telling me about her son, who is 11, and was really interested in the school and wanted me to send her some info...so i am going to do that tomorrow. she kept talking about how she hated to do laundry....she said that doing laundry would be more enjoyable if it was a laundromat/bar combo. i think that would be pretty intense.

so after laundry, i came home and since 530 i have been organizing, cleaning, throwing away... right now my apartment is tore up....i am working on getting things back together...but i am tired...so i am taking a break. and due to my diligence...i have a big ol' blister on my pointer finger. it hurts. :(

my racebus is really loose...and i need a four-tire change...and a replacement mirror...

i am over-analyzing. the funny thing is klf said the exact same thing the lsf said concerning the situation without knowing what lsf said. so i am *trying* to listen to them and not over-analyze. :/

today it was just me and shana working day camp. shana and i took 2 buses and 29 kids to the movies by ourselves. i drove the loose racebus with no driver side mirror. the alignment on this bus is SO bad...for me to keep the bus going straight, the steering wheel has to be turned to the left. the bus sways back and forth so much...and it wasn't the driver thankyouverymuch! (to quote..ha!) and the bus has no driver side mirror...meaning...i cannot see to merge on the interstate! but whatevs. it got worked out...and we arrived to our destination and back without the use of a pit crew to tighten up the bus or spotters to tell me if it was safe to get over...

oh my gosh...i am so tired. what happened to my life of leisure that i had last week??! i wish life was filled with leisure and with purple ponies with sparkles and pink cotton candy.

gosh...it has taken me like an hour to post this.... i just need to hurry up and post!

i am not over-analyzing anymore. things are better. i am happy! :) :)

a little bit of everything...

i usually avoid listening to people sing the national anthem. why? not because i am unpatriotic or anything. it is a hard song to sing and it is hard to sing live...i get that) ...but then i get all embarrassed for them. i am by no means a singer....so who am i to throw stones... well....you chose to sing the national anthem at a sporting event that is being broadcast nationwide... so there. 9 times out of 10 i change the channel. why am i talking about this? well...i just watched a guy do a really bad job singing the national anthem...and i didn't feel bad for him...it just cracked me up...

so i have decided that my plant...which is called "devil's ivy" and anyone with a brown thumb can grow it (according to websites..) which makes me fee like poo...because mine is dying. but i figured it out...it isn't getting enough light. it did SO well in my classroom (which has no windows) but the lights were on for 8 hours a day... it is getting *MAYBE* 4 hours a day of artificial light (it doesn't need real light to live). i guess i will have to be very diligent in making sure it gets light. it only has to survive for one more week in my home...and then it can go back to work. keep holding on, little plant.

my futile attempts at being a good plant mommy. :S notice i did tilt the lampshade to provide extra light... c. ipod told klf that she has to prove that she can keep a dog alive before moving on to children. if that theory is true...well then i can barely keep a plant alive...how could i keep a dog alive?! or a kid??! maybe i could take baby steps...if the plant does pull through (and the picture doesn't do much justice for showing the brown leaves) then maybe i'll move up to a beta fish. they are hard to kill. sigh.

i am doing better with my anxiety that i talked about yesterday. i think i was just over-tired.

i finished "rescued" this morning. it was an ok book. kind of predictable...but a decent read. i probably wouldn't read it again. i should check my library for a new book for next week at work.

i have been a lesson planning machine! it has been so super easy though because i have the lesson plan book of two teachers ago who taught earth science...and it is really easy to follow. i could have done it on my own, but to see what she did as far as experiments and stuff... i have 6 weeks currently planned... i am going to keep going and just see how many i can get done. the great thing about earth science is you can do a lot of experiments and it is really low cost. this year is going to be so much cooler then last year! i actually have time to plan and prep for this class and i know what to expect and i have a great group of kids coming in this year (last year's kids were great too, but because of some stuff that happened the previous year before me...it was just different...) and one of the great things is i am supposedly not teaching math. thank god! i didn't mind doing it...but it is not my ideal class to be teaching...the kids did well and grades improved...but blech... i am happy to possibly not have to deal with it again this year. but whatever happens, happens.

well...i think this is a long enough post... so i shall end here...

much love!

end of vacation week...

so today i did laundry, crunched some pop cans, folded laundry, and started reading a new book.

i recently finished "pretense" by lori wick. i have been reading it for over a month while i am at work...and i finished it this week. it was a good book. i am now reading "enjoying god" by s.j. hill and "rescued" by john bevere. "enjoying god" is non-fiction..."rescued" is fiction.

so i started "rescued" today at the laundromat. it is kind of hard to follow...but i am catching on and i am starting to get into it a little bit... barbara and shana both read it and passed it along to me to read.

"enjoying god" is a book i have had since bible school and have read it *maybe* once. it is one of those books that i tend to start and then never finish. i am determined to finish it this time...

i go back to work on monday. i am neutral on the topic. there is one more week of summer day camp and then it is pre-planning week and then school starts again. i do have to go and turn in some paperwork next week...hopefully on monday...and then that ball will be rolling! :) yay!

edit--

i am really apprehensive (re: the paperwork thing...). it is unknown...and that scares me a little bit...and on top of that, there is a lot of leg work involved after things get started and established...and i just don't know what to expect. and i am concerned about the cost of everything. why am i stressing?! this is something that i have been working towards...and something i have wanted...so why am i worrying about it?! because i am over-thinking. over-analyzing. worst-case-scenerio-izing. :S where is my fairy godmother? she needs to show up and wave her magic wand over everything and make it wonderful...with kittens and cotton candy...and sparkles...and flowers... things will be ok... i just have a hard time with change...and being ok with the unknown... i am not ok with the unknown because i am afraid i won't handle the situation well if i am not prepared for it...and that is why i over-analyze and assume the worst because since i don't know what to expect or what is going to happen , then at least i am prepared for the absolute worst. that is not balanced. sigh. it will be fine...everything will work out...one way or the other...

is today wednesday?

today i went to ross in hiram and found another shirt and another book for my classroom. i went to target afterwards, and looking back, i can tell i was hungry while i was shopping... i bought some random food items...but all is well. i also bought some canned air. i just cleaned my laptop keyboard and was doing something else and put my hand by my mouth or something and it was the most bitter disgusting taste on my hand... then i just happened to look over (towards my sad plant) and read on the canned air that it "contains a bittering agent to help discourage inhalant (i thought it said "infant" the first time) abuse". well...it sure is discouraging and disgusting... and unfortunately i got a taste of it... my keyboard is clean though! :)

after target, i stopped by becks to pay my phone bill... hopefully tomorrow will be nice and sunny so i can hang out by the pool with her tomorrow... it has been cloudy and ominous all day today and now, as i look out my lone window, the stinkin' sun is out. i raise my fist to the weather.... we really do have a love/hate relationship...the weather and i do.... weather.com is still one of my most visited websites...

i did some earth science lesson planning this afternoon. i did another chapter (complete with handouts) and now my brain really hurts. i need to work on some more...maybe later i will work on it...

i guess that is all for now... today has been a good day... :)

sigh.

gosh...i let d-u-m-b things bother me. things that shouldn't phase me really bother me and eat away at me. i think it is because i am insecure about certain things and i filter things through that insecurity...and i am bothered by dumb things. sigh. i don't want to be swayed by things that are trivial...but i am. sigh. sigh. sigh. why are some things a big deal and other things that probably should be a big deal, i don't care that much about? i don't get that.

i think it partially comes from the fact that i don't have a roommate or family that i live with to talk to, so i am left to my own crazy thoughts....instead of spilling my crazy thinking on my roommate or family (with the exception of aem who gets it all through facebook messages regardless of location)... i am ready for a distraction. i am ready for school to start this fall (work school that is) and for my classes to start (which won't be until january because then i will be eligible for in-state tuition, which is more than 1/2 of what i would be paying as an out of state student). i need to be busy....to keep my mind distracted. i suppose it would just be easier in the long run to just deal with the crazy thinking as opposed to just letting it keep growing...

so i have decided to put different things out of my mind and not worry about them or stress about them anymore. there is no need for all that nonsense and for me to be all worked up over such non-issues. so i say it to you, all 4 readers, i commit today to put it out of my mind. and to not be stressed about non-issues. i am sure this doesn't make much sense....but it does to me...and aem....who knows it all...whether she likes it or not... i am ready for change. i am ready to move on...to advance...to become more balanced...to work on becoming a healthy, complete person....and not over-analyze everything...or assume....or worst-case-scenario-ize everything...

day one o wonderful vacation....

today has been a glorious day! (that sounds like something aem would say....) but it really has been a relaxingly wonderful day. i woke up this morning at like 9 or so and finished a book that i have been reading for about a month. i went to the thrift store this morning. i am so not into thrift store-ing it anymore. i used to love going to the thrift store....but now i just don't like it. so i went to dville and went to goodys and found some wide-leg jeans (i LOVE wide-leg jeans) and they were on sale for $14! then i went to ross and tried on a random shirt and it is so so so cute! it was $6 and i absolutely love it! it is royal blue and has a banded bottom...i never thought i would like shirts like that...but it is so flattering and a great color! i think tomorrow i am going to go to the ross in hiram and see if they have anymore...because dville only had one in my size...and i really like the shirt! :) i am thinking about maybe catching a movie tomorrow too, while in hiram... who knows... i DO live life on the edge...(ha!)

hell-o?!

i do not get any cell phone reception in my apartment.. well..i should say it takes an acrobat practically to get reception! :/ i have one window (i live in a basement/studio apartment of sorts..) and in order for me to talk on the phone i have to lean so my head is almost touching the windowsill and then stand on my tip-toes while hunched over. ...even then...it is a garbled convo. so i talk on the phone while i am driving to work or wherever. texting is another story. once again, i have to stand on my tip-toes and extend my arm fully and put it on the other side of the mini-blind and hope and pray that it goes through quickly. it usually doesn't. my dear, ams...i did get your text about your nails. i am sorry! :( :( my arm got too tired while i was waiting for it to go through... sorry... :( sigh. such is life for now.

so today, we were so so so super slow at work. the phone rang maybe 5 times all day. so i got to leave at 2-ish! yay! and the oh-so-great part is...i don't have to go back to work for a week! yay! yay! i am on vacation! i am not going anywhere on vacation...but i am happy to just not have to go to work!

my "enter" button feels funny...so does "question mark"....i need some canned air....

my plant is still looking not so good. i don't get it. poor plant. :(

no soup for you!

yesterday amy mentioned salad...which i am not hugely fond of... but i am fond of chicken salad. so i decided that i was going to make that today for next week and i realized i could make chicken soup with the same ingredients. i just made chicken soup and it is killer! i am NOT a cook...at all. but this soup is so so so good! i am shocked! for normal people, it is probably average...but i am so proud of myself!

the quest to minimize the stuff taking over my life moved along a little bit today. i put some kitchen items that i don't use into a box. i have NO room and i feel like the stuff is taking over my life...and i don't have a ton of things to begin with! i have stuff stored in my trunk...in my closet at work... in my one closet at home...behind the couch....under the tables... granted i do have some boxes in the house...but it is contained. i need to do some more though.

i burned my tongue on my soup.

my plant is looking better. :/

2 hours 'til end of day...

i am tired. i feel like i have no energy at all.

so..my plant that i got for valentines day is worrying me. my leaves are turning yellow...and some are turning brown. i am not over watering....i don't know if it is too cold for it in the apartment...? or if it isn't getting enough light. i moved it under the lamp i always have on. i don't want to kill it... it has lasted for 5 months...which is amazing. it has new growth...so something is working...i don't know. i am a bit worried about my poor little plant.

today on my way home, i saw a sign for the rodeo! last year, klf and i were going to go to the rodeo at the fair, but the tickets were sold out. we were totally bummed. now i am here...and there is a rodeo...but no klf. :( :( i really want to go, but i won't go by myself...it is never any fun to do things like that by yourself... someday...i shall go to the rodeo....

so next tueday through friday i am off! i thought about (with a suggestion from aem) going out to las vegas to see klf...but the cheapest tickets are like $435....and i do not have that much money... so i am going to stay home. i have decided that i want to go to the thrift store, wash my car using the "you wash it yourself" hoses at the car wash, hopefully fill out some paperwork/make an appointment, read (possibly at the park), and organize/put things in boxes...oh! and lesson plan...

this morning i went to a restaurant to pick up a drink for breakfast (not like an alcoholic one...)...and i got charged 2x! it isn't worth it for me to go out and say something...but it is kind of irritating....but whatevs...pick your battles...and it wasn't one that i wanted to fight....but still...that is an expensive breakfast... :/

i have been feeling like a gloomy gus... i don't want to be gloomy.. i want to be optimistic.... i don't know how.... but i want to be positive...and optimistic...and hopeful...and ok....

today really felt like a thursday...

wonderfully weird wednesday....

this morning we took the kids to the park. we went out to clinton farm park, which i think is a state park... they have a HUGE, super-nice playground area and the kids LOVED it. they also have like baseball fields, nature trails, civil war buildings, and a lake. shortly before we were going to leave, i took my kids out to find the lake. we ended up taking a trail that didnt take us to the lake (apparently i am a bad navigator...) but we did see a huge doe and it ran right in front of us. eventually we found the lake...but by the time we found it, we had to turn around and go back to the buses and my kids were totally bummed...shoot, i was bummed! we are supposed to be going back (hopefully the week after my vacation!) and i told my kids that next time, we will go right to the lake and we can catch frogs and skip rocks.... i am not super-outdoor-y...but i really really really loved today! i like nature trails and i love any body of water.... it was such a fun morning!

on our way to the park, as we were getting on the interstate, there was this NASTY smell. i smelled it the other day when i was getting on the interstate on my way to carrollton. shana said it has been smelling there all week. we think something died back in the woods along the entrance ramp to the interstate. we both decided we think it is a body. it probably is a deer...but a body is more intriguing to assume is making the smell. shana did say that homeless people live in those woods...so she thinks it very well could be a body...

another weird occurrence today... after work, i went to the laundromat and i was the only one there. well the front and the back doors were propped open to keep a breeze flowing through the building. well a man, who was not doing laundry, came in and sat on the row of chairs where i was and just started talking to me. i didn't feel freaked out or anything...and i usually can tell when someone is shady. the man kept talking about the economy and how it is going to take 3 years to get things better and how it is all president clinton's fault. i don't think he was all there...and i think he was maybe homeless.... but i just sat and talked to him. i don't know much about politics, but i added my 2 cents here and there....and we just talked for like a half hour. well then this other lady came in and put some stuff in a dryer. the man got up and walked to the bathroom. he was in there for another half hour and then i left....but he never came out. i never saw him leave....and the bathroom door was still closed. so as i was folding some clothes, i was wondering if he died in the bathroom and is now locked in there and he won't be discovered until the owner comes and unlocks the door. or is he trying to be like will smith in "the pursuit of happyness" where he is going to sleep in the bathroom? i have no idea. it was kind of weird though. he could have maybe slipped out the back door, but why did he close the bathroom door? maybe it was stinky in there...that is a possibility...it is just weird.

another kind of weird thing...there are common phrases or words or things that come up during the day... like on monday...people randomly were commenting on my personality....my advisor at school and 2 people separately at work. no one has ever really commented on it before. today...2 times..."clinton" came up...the name of the park...and the man at the laundromat talking about president clinton. is it coincidence? it certainly is weird....

in my lifetime...

tonight i talked to klf a little bit and she said that one of her lifetime goals is to someday be my neighbor. i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have karen as my neighbor (and have already both decided though that it would probably drive chris nuts...). so anyway...that made me start thinking about some lifetime goals (in no particular order)...

1. to someday be neighbors with klf

2. to be a wife and a mother

3. to be a foster parent

4. to own a home

5. to have a garden

6. to travel to europe

7. to graduate from college with a degree in education (and eventually special ed...)

8. to win some kind of a sweepstakes

9. to go to a nascar race at every track (with the exception of the road courses)

10. to own a vacation cabin on a lake or to live on a lake

11. to visit machu picchu

12. to go on a tornado chasing vacation

13. to SAVE money...and have money to retire with

14. to give...to everyone...self-lessly

15. to learn how to cook

16. build/maintain deep solid relationships

17. to become a regular exercise-r

18. to write a book or put together a collection of stories from my adventures in teaching

19. to learn how to crochet

20. get out of debt and stay out of debt...as much as humanly possible

21. to enjoy the small things

22. to host a holiday party and have it be a smashing hit

23. to never take for granted my parents and all they have done for me

24. to learn how to make the german christmas cookies and hungarian goulash that my grandma makes

25. to go to the ballet (any will do...)

26. go to a professional baseball game


i am sure there will be more...but for now this is a little bit of what i would like to accomplish in my lifetime...

r-a-c-h-e-l.

i always assume the absolute 100% worst case scenario. it doesn't matter what the situation is...the absolute worst is going to happen. why? well...i guess i think that if the worst case does happen...at least i am prepared...and if it doesn't happen, well then i am surprised. i have gotten somewhat better with my worst case scenario... but it still is there. like ok. i am 25 and single. my last official date was 6 (yes 6!!) years ago. ok. so my worst case scenario is...i am going to get old and be a cat lady and live in a trailer and shoot squirrels from my kitchen window with a shot gun. and then when i am 87 right before i die...i'll meet a man and get married and then die or he will die shortly thereafter. in my head and in my heart i know that PROBABLY won't happen. but if it did...i am prepared for it...and if it doesn't...well then golly gee, i will be surprised. i think maybe it is a warped coping mechanism of sorts that helps me cope with things that really do bother me...but i really can't change.

i try to figure out different acronyms (usually found while stalking people) and i usually pull aem into my crazy quirk... it is like having another pair of eyes proofread something... one example would be: fbpp (facebook profile pic)

i really really really hate (and avoid) watching shows where people have foreign accents. my brain just rejects shows like that.

i am also a chronic checker of people's tags while i am out driving. i check almost everyone's tag while i am out driving. and here and there i catch someone with an expired tag or with a temporary plate that is expired. i don't do anything...except receive great satisfaction from knowing that they are law breakers.

on another note...i feel like i am being overtaken by magazines! i had some frequent flyer miles from continental and had to redeem them on magazine subscriptions...i currently have 5 unread magazines in my house. they are taking over! i will take them to my classroom this fall...but until then...where does the madness end?!

one week until vacaaaaation...........yay!

the bozo show...

yesterday the nascar race was in chicago. before the race, they were talking to the announcers and behind them was a picture of bozo the clown. now some of you may not know this...but i was on the "bozo the clown show"....when i was 10. i was on tv and got to play a game and won a bunch of prizes. i think we had to wait awhile to even get tickets...it was a big deal. here is a picture of bozo the clown:

yep. i was on his show. it is ok to be jealous... ;)

....speaking of bozos....kyle busch won the race...again. i am ready for someone else to win. it doesn't even have to be jr. i would be happy if anyone won....other than kyle busch. :/ granted he is a talented racer...but he arrogant. blech. AND i am ready for nascar to be on another network besides tnt....

normal brown friday...

i am normal again! yay!!! the lady who did my hair was EXCELLENT! the whole process took about 2 1/2 hours and cost about $100...but it was worth it...my hair is beautiful! :)

another great thing is i finally got reimbursed for something i purchased for work...so this paycheck has an extra $40 in it! yay!

today has turned into quite a wonderful day....

black thursday

tonight things have gone in a very bad direction. i dyed my hair (which i have been doing for a couple of months now) and tonight it was not good. my hair is VERY dark...it is black. it is not good. i could either laugh or cry...and i am really trying to laugh. i have an appointment tomorrow to get it fixed...but i still have to go through tomorrow at work with my black hair. geez. i am so wearing my hair up tomorrow... the lady at the salon i went to said that not to many people are willing to do the process because you don't know how it will turn out. and my hair could get really damaged...but they said it won't fall out. :/ i am totally prepared to cut it short again if i had to...but i am hoping it doesn't come to that. like they say...once you go black you don't go back....well it sure is hard to go back from black... and from now on...i think i am only going to go to professionals to get my hair colored... or i will just be gray headed...the cats won't care what color hair i have...


so today...my being an adult went well. i am proud of myself...

in less than 24 hours my hair will be back to normal (fingers crossed)....

:/

being an adult stinks.

ok....being an adult is super stinky. at least right now it is when you have to make tough adult decisions and have tough adult discussions. but some things are necessary and have to be dealt with....it is just tough...

i am going to get a pedicure tomorrow. thanks to ams! :) :) i so so so so so need a pedi. am i very much looking forward to it.

pray for me dear blog readers.....that jesus will give me the strength....

ate moor....

1. What was I doing ten years ago?
ten years ago i was 15...and it was summer...so i was working my first job at dairy queen....

2. What are five things on my list to do today?
- survive work (check!)
- flush the spider that i killed in the bathroom down the toilet
- make a sandwich for dinner
- take out the trash
- get my laundry ready for tomorrow

3. Snacks I enjoy?
currently, these lays kettle barbecue chips...they are so yummy. popcorn, pie (any kind), cookies...(this is a downward spiral...)

4. Things I Would Do If I Were A Billionaire?
pay off my debt. go see karen in las vegas. go home to visit. buy a house. give money d and v. pay for college. invest some money. go on a tornado chasing vacation. go to every track for a nascar race that year. there are a lot of other things i'd do with it too...but i can't really think of any more at this present moment...

5. Three of my bad habits?
i over-analyze. everything. i eat junk for food. i assume.

6. Five places I have lived?
- stevensville, michigan
- pensacola, florida
- charlotte, north carolina
- guadalajara, jalisco, mexico
- douglasville, georgia

7. Five jobs I've had?
- dairy queen
- the flour shop (bakery)
- rave motion pictures
- kmart
- sanitary cleaners (dry cleaners)

8. How did you name your blog?
it is actually the name of a type of granola i used to eat for a while...and i feel like that is how my blog is...you never really know what you are going to get...but you may get a lot of it....

oh the randomness...version 1.0

random questions...

Are you happy with your given name? yes

What is your guaranteed weeping movie? i don't cry during movies...ever.

What is the one thing you like to do alone? well i do almost everything alone...

Describe your bed. pull-out couch... :/

What do you carry with you at all times? purse, phone, keys...

How do you eat an apple? i like it best when my mom cuts an apple for me...that only happens when i am in michigan...so i really don't eat apples otherwise...

What kind of first impression do you think you give people? oooohh....i don't know...

What should you be doing instead of this? lesson planning...returning a phone call...cleaning....

Who was the last person who called you? kara

Are you ready? no. i hate it.

What is the last gift you gave someone? some music....for ams...

Does everything happen for a reason? yes

What color is your bedroom? brown

Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? 89% of the time...

What kind of watch do you wear? no watch

What’s one car you will never buy? i don't know...a car is a car...

Would you die to save the life of someone you dearly love? maybe...

What was the last thing you typed before this survey? "maybe...."

What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? avoiding eye contact

Name ONE trait you hate in a person. disrespect.

What’s one thing you’re a loser at? relationships...all shapes and sizes...

When is the last time you made someone cry? probably some little kid last week at work..because they were naughty and couldn't get away with it...

Do you like the rain? yes!

Who was the last person you talked to in person? a lady at the restaurant that complimented me on my purse!

What are your plans for the weekend? no plans....

How much money would it take for you to give up the internet for a year? not much...

How long have you known your best friend? 21 years (KLF!), 10 years (SEH!), 7 years (AEM!)

What are you listening to? the tv...

What was the last thing you laughed at? something on "roseanne"...

What do you wish you were doing right now? boating on the lake....

What musical instrument do you wish you could play? forget instrument...i wish i could sing...

What's the greatest thing that happened to you today? i made it to the bank before 5 and i haven't thrown up today...

What's on your bedroom floor right now? a rug...

What's currently bothering you? geez... a lot...

Are your toe nails painted pink? they need to be...

Are you close with your mom? yep.

When were you last outside? when i came home from work...

Look to your left. What is there? bathroom door, chair, laundry basket o clothes...

What time did you go to sleep last night? 3-ish? (due to being sick....)

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? oh geez...it was too long ago to remember...

What were you doing at 8 am? flattening my hair....

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? watching "roseanne"

Do you like your life as of now?i t is ok...could be better...could be worse

Last text message from? amy

Are you happy right now? i am neutral...

Do you wear the seatbelt in the car? absolutely

What are you going to do tomorrow? work...go to the movies....work....come home...lay on the couch....go to bed.

ugliness.

it is technically sunday...so this qualifies as a new post...

i hate how i beat myself up about things that really are non-issues. i am totally doing it right now... i hate it...but i don't know how not to do that.

i make excuses...i avoid issues...i avoid certain people...i live alone. i like my space. i don't have a lot of friends here...mainly by my lack of trying to maintain relationships. why? i guess because being alone doesn't let as many people down. and i don't want to be out all the time doing things. i like being home... i do go to work. i am taking classes this fall...i do have human interaction. i am just not eating out every night with friends or going to the movies all the time. that is how my life has been in other places i have lived....just here it is different. i don't know why. maybe it is a phase. i would like to think it is a phase. i don't want to live a solitary life. i am afraid though, i will.

super exciting.... :/

hi world.

nothing much to report. i have been somewhat sick....i had to go to the clinic on thursday before work and they put me on stronger meds... i am feeling much much better. :)

i did nothing to celebrate the independence of my country. i watched documentaries on tv, read a magazine, oh...i did go to kroger to buy a couple of things...i watched the nationwide series race at daytona... and that was about it. super exciting. :/

i hope it rains today. i love the rain. it may rain. it may not rain. you never know.

alright. that is all for my super exciting post. i may update later...

orveorbeorbi jtgiogtrj

i am beat. this whole week (with the exception of monday) i have been working with the youngest class in summer day camp. these are the kids who have just finished kindergarten and 1st grade. i tell you...they are a mess. today we spent the entire day at the rollerskating rink. it was an ok day. on the way back though, my one little boy (who is autistic) fell face first off the steps of the bus. he landed square on his face. he cried for a minute, but not for long. he has a scrape/bruise on his forehead and a scratch on his nose and a scrape on his hand. it totally breaks my heart. none of my kids had time to rest today and i think he was tired and was distracted by playing with these plastic lizards he had and just fell. i hate when things like that happen. but there was nothing i could have done to prevent it...it hasn't happened before.. i just feel bad. most of my other kids were ok. i had one real naughty one today. he pushed me to the edge...i tell you what... one more day of work. one more. and then the long weekend. that will be nice. today when we got back to the school, my boss was talking and talking, but my brain is total mush and i couldn't even really focus on what he was saying...and on top of that i was trying to get my little injured boy taken care of. i hate that...when you can't even comprehend what someone is saying to you because you are so exhausted.

after work i did laundry. i bought a new laundry soap and it smells really good. i LOVE clean laundry. have i folded my laundry? negative. it is sitting in the laundry bag. but it is clean. just unfolded.

gosh...it is already 7 o'clock. sheesh. where does time go?!

i think i am going to eat a roast beef sandwich for dinner...yum. buuut that means i have to get up and make it. gosh...i need a husband to make me sandwiches and fold my laundry.

july 1, 1978

today is my parent's 30th wedding anniversary. look at how cute they were! (they still are cute!) here is their story. when my mom was 11 her family started going to the church my dad grew up at. they were all friends and hung out a lot in their group. one day my dad called my mom and asked her if she wanted to go to a movie. my mom said yes and asked who else was going and my dad said it would be just the two of them. the rest is history. my mom's bridesmaids wore green sundresses. she wanted them to be able to wear them again...and a lot of the girls turned them in to shorter sundresses after the wedding. my parent's got married at our church's old building (as seen in picture) and my dad's uncle alvin officiated the ceremony. my mom's flowers were from crystal springs (my mom's mom is related to the owners somehow) and her flowers were all the rage. the candelabras were surrounded by the flower arrangements and really were very pretty. my mom is still proud of her arrangements! my grandpa and my dad's cousin linda both sang at the wedding. the reception was held in the basement of the church. there was no dancing. just food and cake! after the wedding they drove the next day to my grandpa's cabin up north. 5 years later....i was born (that is the most important fact considering it is my blog...) and 4 years after that, kare kare was born! the rest is history!

happy anniversary parents! love you!!!

(yes mom....i did put up that picture...and it is staying up!)

p.s. karen and i were talking last night and we pretty much decided that chris outranks us with our parents. the hierarchy is chris, socks, me, then karen.... the real disturbing part is not that karen and i are outranked by our socksy dog (r.i.p. socks the dog), but that chris is more loved than both of us AND even socksy dog... sigh. {{shakes head}} so i guess i should have put somewhere that chris was born a couple of weeks before my parents were married...since he outranks us now with our own parents.... and he is a part of the story too... (chris is my sister's man...fyi...)