change....

last week i stopped by v's to drop off some food and we ended up talking for a bit (and it was so very nice!).  one of the things that stuck out to me was how she was talking about when they discipline the kids.  she said they are trying not to just yell, but to teach and explain why they don't want the kids to do something (i.e. do not put your hand in the dirty dishwater because it is gross and there could be knives).  so i have decided to try that in my classroom.  i am choosing not to yell, instead i am pulling kids aside and speaking to them privately and i am not raising my voice at all during my classes.  i am also not letting all the little things get to me and i am letting some things slide (the things that can be slidden...is that a word?!) so i started today.  i had one kid say to me 'ms. f, so are so calm today.  are you taking classes from dr. phil?"  gosh, was i that bad before?!!  i think i just was (and am!) overwhelmed and i am not a good stress handler and i let it affect my students.  i am really surprised at the results i received today from my students.  things were way calmer even at lunch and the kids were more willing to listen and obey when i was not as grouchy about things.  i am going to commit to running my classroom this way.  i know that every day is different and things change, but i really want to teach these kids the reasons WHY we don't throw pencils or WHY it is important to remember items for class.  i did have a tense moment today when i FELT my blood pressure rise...it all happened when a kid flared his nostrils at me and balled up his fists.  oh dear jesus.  i wasn't afraid of the kid, it was more like "who do you think you are, kid?!!"  (that is my lsf coming out in me....) but it was handled and all is ok.  for all of you pray-ers who read this...please keep me in your prayers...this year is a challenge and i want to do the very best i can with a good attitude....especially toward difficult parents (they are the problem...not the kids!).  just remember me in your prayers.  thanks so much!! <3